And today, we're continuing our study of Paul's letter to the Philippians. So please turn in your Bibles to Philippians 4. We're going to be looking at verses 2 through 9. We do have an outline. If you didn't pick one up, you can get it on the way out. We're grateful this morning to have our new lead pastor with us, Travis Connick. And Travis, come on up here. He's taking August to find a place to rent or to buy and settle in, as well as meet with staff and leaders. And man, I am so grateful that you're here and you don't have to do anything until September 1st and then it'll all come crushing down on you. And I know you're setting up the office and getting to know people. So would you just pray for us now and pray for the scriptures? Thanks.

Good morning. Good to see you guys. Would you stand while I pray? Is that all right? Little exercise.

Well, Father, it's first of all, it's so good to worship you, to lift up our voices and praise and honor. And now, Father, as we come to your word. We pray that You would speak into our hearts and minds once again, conforming our heart affections back to the person and the work of Jesus Christ.

That you would empower Steve to deliver clearly and compellingly the message that he's prepared this week.

And again, Father, stir our heart for the glorious person of Jesus. We trust you, we love you in Jesus name, Amen.

Thanks,

Travis.

OK, it was my first church out of a seminary. It was located in San Diego overlooking Mission Bay and the church had about 1200 members, but attendance was about half that 600 to 700. And I really wanted where to know everybody was. And so I looked at the membership roles and, and I realized as I began asking about, well, what about this family? What about this person? What about that person, that kind of thing. And what they told me was that most of the people that didn't show up were dead.

And so I made the blunder of saying to the secretary, we'll take him off the roll. Many in the church were not pleased. In fact, by their reaction, you would have thought that I had intentionally run over their puppy with an SUV. I mean, they were not happy. And about that time, at my first board meeting, at the beginning of the meeting, I asked the church leaders. You know that we should take turns after the service praying for anybody that came forward. You know that makes sense. And when I made that suggestion. I was. I was stunned because there was dead silence.

And then Bill French spoke up and he said, well, that's not my gift. And I tentatively countered, well, you know, praying for people as leaders. I mean, that's not a gift. It's a responsibility. It's an opportunity. It's part of our relationship with God.

And then Bill paused and said this, “I move because that's how you make a motion. You don't say I motion or I make

a motion, you say I move. And so he said I move that we don't do what Pastor Steve said and that he never brings it up again.

I did exactly what you did. No, I was the only one laughing. And then Alberta seconded the motion and it was carried 8 to 4. No prayer at the end of services. We spent the remainder of the meeting discussing whether to replace the bathroom light switches that had timers on them with the regular kind that just had on off switches. Apparently Mrs. Lloyd, who was elderly, had been in the bathroom and she was suffering from, well, you know, constipation because she was elderly. It was taking longer than normal. And so the timer switched off and the bathroom had no windows and so were the lights off. She couldn't see the hand in front of her face. And so she started yelling. She was yelling and yelling and feeling and it happened to be Wednesday night and so not a lot of people were around. I don't remember what we decided. About the light switches, even after a couple of hours of discussing it because I was thinking, Lord, what if I cut myself into?

Most of our problems with churches are people problems?

It's not usually organizational. It's not usually the topic or the controversy. Usually it's the people that are the problem. Usually it's us.

In fact, King Solomon recognized this truth and he said it this way. He said, “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out and quarrel and abuse will cease.”

In other words. You put four people in a booth at breakfast who are humble and thoughtful and more curious than critical and willing to give each other the benefit of the doubt. They can talk about the most explosive, divisive topics without any damage to their relationship.

But you substitute one critical, ego driven negative person who's never happy unless he's unhappy. And you put him in the same booth discussing something bland and obvious, and by the time the check arrives he'll have everybody fuming and suspecting each other. People are the problem.

Now you know this. That's a real picture, by the way. Although there are bad, bad and better churches, there are no perfect churches. And you know why too. Because churches are composed of people,

That's right. And there are no perfect people. As one of my mentors kept reminding us, if you find a perfect church, please don't join it. You're going to ruin it. Because people are broken and messy, and because we're broken and messy, sometimes we find ourselves at odds with one another and we're unable to make it right. In fact, sometimes we don't even want to make it right.

OK, So what do you do when you can't get along?

Now, if you haven't been in this position. Just wait. The longer that you live the more certain that you're going to experience this or you're going to see someone close to you in exactly this situation where you're not getting along and you're relationally stuck.

Philippians 4:2-9, addresses this very problem. So I want to read it. You follow along in your Bible, and then we'll tear it apart.

(2) “I entreat you, Euodia and I entreat in Syntyche to agree in the Lord. (3)Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel, together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers whose names are in the book of life. (4) Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice. (5) Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. (6) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

(8) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (9) Which we have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Practice these things and the God of peace will be with you.”

Now many people read this passage as if it were a half dozen wonderful suggestions about problem people and prayer and peace and maintaining a positive perspective.

But I want you to see that the whole paragraph addresses a very specific problem. All these truths are applications to that problem, and the problem is that there were two people who couldn't seem to get along in the body. So let me just identify the problem.

|. THE PROBLEM

And this is what we don't know about the problem. We don't know who these women were. We know their names. Euodia and Syntyche we're not even sure how those names are pronounced. But this is the only reference to them in the New Testament, and very little else is said about them in or outside the scriptures.

What we don't know

We don't know what the problem was. It never says. Paul doesn't refer to the circumstances or the issues or what had occurred or who was on which side, not even who is right and who is wrong. And that really should tell us something. It wasn't about the issue, it was about the people.

And knowing Paul, if the issue had been a question of biblical truth, or some key theological concept, or maybe of moral right and wrong, he would have pointed it out very clearly. Instead, he skirts the issue. And he points at them.

More often than not, what divides and disrupts our relationships is our violating boundaries of clear right and wrong? It's not that we're embracing heresy, it's getting our feelings hurt. It's friction.

It's rubbing each other the wrong way. It's mistrust and frustration that reaches a boiling point. And too often, the problem isn't the problem, the problem is US.

What we do know

OK, So what do we know? Well, we know that they were significant people. He doesn't introduce them to the church. He doesn't say, hey, you know, there are two people that you should get to know here. It's Euodia and Syntyche

He assumes everybody knows them. He speaks as if everybody knows them. In Acts 16 relates how the church in Philippi began on the banks of the river with a bunch of women gathered to pray, and when Paul explained the gospel to them, that Christ died in our place for our guilt, that he was raised from the dead as the Lord, and that forgiveness and new life. In God's Kingdom it is available to anyone who changes their mind and puts their full faith and trust in Jesus.

He gave that message to them and they believed. They seized on that message and they believed. And I think all of them did. And I think all of them were baptized right there on the shores of that Little River.

That was the start of the Philippian church, and it's very likely that Euodia and Syntyche were among those initially believing women. They were significant people in the church. People knew them. And it's no wonder that they were known. They were seasoned servants. In fact, the second part of verse 3 says, help these women who have labored side by side with me, Paul in the gospel.

And so Paul is identifying them as two who fought on the same side with him in promoting the good news. And he's implying that their contribution included suffering and sacrifice. I mean, these were not new Christians. They'd been around. They'd been deeply involved, effectively involved in ministry and evangelism. And apparently the fallout was serious. We know that. You don't have to read much between the lines to figure out that their rift with each other was causing ripples all through the church. Peppered throughout this letter are commands to put other people first.

To be humble and recommit, to serve each other, to think the best of each other. And it all implies that something had gone sour in their otherwise usual healthy relationship.

The larger problem. Of a lack of unity in the church was traceable, I think, to these two prominent women who were either unwilling or unable to make things right between each other.

We should never dismiss or discount or downplay the effect that relational conflict is happening, what it does in the Church.

Look, some people are sour. Some people are perpetually negative. They're not happy unless they're not happy. That wasn't these two women. We don't know what the disagreement was about, and it really doesn't matter. What matters is that it was affecting the church. Their disagreement with each other and their apparent distaste for each other threatened to infect the rest of the church, forcing people to take sides, and it was shattering their unity in the gospel.

And you know, you think about this just for half a second. We believe that God purchased our redemption through the costly death of Jesus. In other words, the result of what Jesus did for us made us right with God.

He reconciled us to himself. But reconciling. To each other. Oh, that's impossible. You have no idea who I have to deal with. You don't know this person, you don't know what they've done. Really.

So don't ever think that you have the luxury of not attempting to reconcile with somebody who has hurt you. Because what you do or fail to do effects other people more than you think. People will tend to take sides. They whisper quietly. They judge one another. And the fissure over time widens and deepens. And what begins as a crack between two people can easily become a split in the church.

You know I'm telling you the truth. So if the problem isn't the problem, but people are the problem, how in the world do you address it?

||. The Prescription

For the Church (4:2-3)

Well, he gives a prescription first for the whole church, and then he zeroes in with those two individuals and gives them some things to do. So first let's look at what he says to the church. And the first thing he says that's really obvious is don't ignore the rift. The letter was to be read publicly in front of the fellowship. And Paul is calling them out by name. In other words, there comes a point when you know you just can't ignore the elephant in the room. I think there was probably a time when this could have been settled quietly between the two women or maybe between those two women and some involved parties. But when it begins to infect the entire church, you have to deal with it as a whole church. And so Paul is bringing to bear on Euodia and Syntyche relationship, the love and encouragement of the whole fellowship.

And I believe with all my heart that bad things grow in the dark. You probably, if you know me at all and you've been around me at all, you know that I've said that numerous times I've said that bad things grow in the dark. Hide things.

Over the years I've seen things that were allowed to grow because nobody wanted to address them, especially relationally. But ignoring what everybody is aware of only perpetuates and deepens the problem. So don't ignore the rift. And then the second point out each one's responsibility to reconcile.

Look at verse 2 and notice he says I entreat and I entreat. So he's appealing to both equally. He's clearly not taking sides. He's entreating or encouraging or urging strongly, each of them individually and for real healing to happen. Neither side can be passive.

I think one of the problems with people who have hurt each other is that, you know, if they do come together, they come to grant forgiveness, but they don't come willing to ask for forgiveness too often. I think that we just play the percentage game, you know, so, OK, so the problem is 100%. My part of the problem is 10%. That means your problem is 90%. I might be guilty of 10% of the problem of what's that in light of all that he's done, the 90% and the other side is thinking, well, I don't really buy that. It's probably 80/20 my problem is, but I'm not totally at fault. They haven't done everything right. And here's the challenge for all of us. When you're in a situation like this, can you embrace 100% of your 20%?

Without assigning the other 80% to the other person. Don't worry about that. Whatever that is, you let them deal with it. Your job is to embrace everything that you've done wrong, however small it is.

But the solution? Isn't just a strategy, it's a change of heart. We're just not saying, well here, you do this and do that and do this, everything everybody will kiss and make up. No, no, no, no. It's not just a strategy. It's a hard change. Something has to happen deep down inside of us for reconciliation and peace. To happen and so we urge humility in Christ. So what did He entreat or encourage them to do? Look at verse 2. Entreat. I entreat no notice to agree with each other in the Lord.

Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Because they don't agree, apparently they can't agree with each other. The translation agreement is a little misleading because it seems to suggest that they have to agree on the issue, which they don't. And so you almost think, OK, that means that either one side must win or the other one has to lose, or they must both believe something different, some compromise, or they have to agree to disagree, something that, you know that almost never. But that's not what Paul is saying when he says agree in the Lord.

Literally to agree in the Lord it literally says to think the same things in the Lord and it's a quote from chapter 2. So turn back a page and look at chapter 2 verse one. Notice this is the exact same phrase. So if there is any encouragement in Christ verse one, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy complete my joy by.

This is the same phrase being of the same mind. You can translate it by agreeing. In the Lord, you know that's actually the same phrase being the same mind, and then drop down to verse 5.

Chapter 2, Verse 5. “Have this mind among yourselves.” That's the same word for agreement. So here's the point. He's not instructing these two women to have the same opinions that led to the division. He's saying think in the same way. In other words, to exhibit Christ like humility and loving sacrifice like Jesus did. Take your ego out of the equation. Think about the other person. Serve them. Consider them more important than yourself. If both people adopt this humble Christ like mindset, then you're very close to experiencing some reconciliation.

When two people aren't getting along, it never hurts to urge both to Christ's likeness. In fact, I've used this passage chapter 2, verses one through 11, and then chapter 4 and I point out, hey, Jesus died for us. He died for the other person that you don't like. You're supposed to become more like Jesus.

Hello. And then 4th.

Use a mediator if necessary. Go back to chapter 4. Look at verse 3.

Paul says yes, and I ask you also to be a true companion, true companion help these women who have labored side by side with me and so on. So who's the true companion? Many, many think that Paul is talking about one of the elders or leaders of the church and wanting him to intervene.

Other people think that this is the actual name of a person, not just True Companion, but the name is Suzicus Suziechos. You can call him Gus.

But his name implies a person who works with you, who hangs in there with another until the job is done. And what Paul is asking Gus to do is to help them. And that word help isn't just to assist them. It literally means to seize or grasp or apprehend them. In other words, he's directing Gus to constrain these women to sit down together and work out their differences in his presence.

And, you know, sometimes when we've been hurt and our trust is shattered, it's just human nature to avoid the other person who's with me on that. Have you ever been in that situation? I just, I don't want to be around that person. I don't want to see that person. I don't want to talk to that person. Thank you very much.

Right. And if it goes long enough, we may actually make every effort not to run into or speak to the other side. And that's when we really need a third party, a mediator who can help. It's not a neutral party who has, you know, completely impartial, who has no thought one way or the other about the situation, who has never taken sides at all.

This third party is a person who has the best interests of the Church and of Christ at heart. That's who you need. And one of the things a third party can do is offer perspective. You know, like the subtle references to names written in the Book of Life.

I mean, it's like, hey, what do you say we think about this, OK, we're all going to heaven. We spend forever together. And so I think God would like us to figure out how to live together now. Are you with that?

Someone like that can help. And I think that's one of the jobs of elders. And believe me, your elders. I am so proud that your elders have had to do this.

Many times. That's not easy. But it is necessary. OK, what about the two sides, the two warring factions? And I think this is where a lot of people miss what Paul is saying because they don't link what he says next to what he has been addressing. And what he's about to say applies to those who are stuck relationally. We look at these and we isolate them and it's about peace and about perspective and all. OK, yeah, but he's talking about when two people get stuck and it's affecting infecting the rest of the body. So what about the.

B. For the Alienated parties.

He gives 5 directives. Here they go real fast.

Find joy in the big picture. Notice he says rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice. I mean, do you realize that joy is not just an emotion, but it's a decision? Joy is a byproduct of thinking rightly. So joy in the Lord requires us to think about God's love, God's faithfulness.

We spent time this morning thinking about God's power and his goodness to us. His love and faithfulness, His mercy, His promises about all those things that never change. And thinking this way gives us perspective about the bigger picture. It fuels joy in our hearts. And believe me, when you're at odds with another person, joy is one of the first casualties. All you can see is how you've been hurt, how you've been misunderstood, how you have heard another person, how the person or the problem just looms in your field of vision and obscures pretty much everything else. And that's why people at odds with other people don't seem to be very happy. You know why? Because they're not. Their perspective and their joy has diminished. But our joy. Shouldn't reflect our circumstances, it should be rooted in our relationship with God. And all that he's done for us, it should be, as Paul points out, in the Lord. Even in the Old Testament.

I love this one from Habakkuk, the prophet Habakkuk, he says no, the fig tree should not blossom, no fruit beyond the vine, the produce of the olive failed. The fields yield no food, no food. The flock be cut off from the fold. There's no herd in the stalls. He says. The whole, even if the whole thing is a complete disaster. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

You see what he's saying? So we need to make a decision to rejoice in the Lord, to be glad about and find joy in all that God is and all that God has done for us. And when people are caught into these relational logjams, you can break that log jam.

By reminding ourselves all that God has done for us and starting to get joy again. Not because everything is turning out OK. But because there are some things that never change that God has done for us. And then second, don't defend rights, extend grace to everyone.

Don’t defend rights – extend grace to everyone, Verse 5. “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” That word reasonableness is a very interesting word. He says. The Lord is at hand. That reasonableness isn't used very often. It's not a very common word. It means not to insist on every right or every letter of the law, but to grant mercy to another person. A very interesting word, mercy. Eleven translations say graciousness. Let your graciousness be. No numeric standard, says gentle spirit. The message paraphrase says big hearted. Be big hearted toward others.

It's giving another the benefit of the doubt and forgiving them for failing to meet our hopes and expectations and refusing to hold them to the bar of our own personal standard of justice. It pictures a person willing to yield his personal rights. And allow another grace, even if they don't deserve it. Especially if they don't deserve it.

And we're to do this so often and so broadly with so many people. That it is evident that it is what he says is known to everyone. In other words, you're thinking the best of other people. You're being gracious to other people is not a rare way to respond. We're to do this all the time with everybody that steps in front of us.

And we're to do this because we know that the Lord is near. Now I know his return will set all things right, and if he wishes to address the issue or failures of others at that time, well, he'll be the judge. But he's also near in the sense that he has seen everything, and he's near in the sense that his coming is at hand.

Come Lord Jesus.

Use worry as a motivation to pray. (vss. 6-7)

OK, use worry as a motivation to pray. Verses 6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything or worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” now next Sunday.

I'm going to spend the whole message just on these two verses. I'm sorry. Just on those two verses. But for today, I want you to see that once again, this is part of the prescription for sick relationships, because if you're embroiled in an inflamed relationship. If you're, if you're struggling with it with somebody that isn't getting along with you, you don't like or they don't like you, I can tell you, you're going to be concerned.

You're going to be worried. You can worry about the fallout with other people. You'll worry that it won't resolve well. You'll probably worry because much of it is out of your control. You can barely control your own behavior and feelings, much less someone else's perspective or understanding of the situation, and least of all the offending party's reaction and responses to you. We already know you're in trouble, and so you worry. And so Paul says.

Turn your worries into prayers. Believe it or not, they are inversely proportional. The more you pray, the less you worry. You cannot effectively pray and worry at the same time. And you should pray at least as much as you worry.

And so notice the three words that describe talking with God. Prayer, supplication and petition. Or requests. Prayer simply refers to talking to God. Generally, you're addressing everything we'd say just pour your heart out to God, talk to him. It's whatever you're feeling and thinking at the moment, whatever you're troubled about, whatever you're thankful for, your praise, your adoration, it's a prayer.

That's the general word for prayer. Supplication is not a common word in your vocabulary. My guess is that last week, in your normal course of events, as you're talking with other people, you probably did not use the word supplication. Did anybody?

Nobody, but it's a really good word. It simply means petition or specific request. It's that urgent request to meet a need. It's that spontaneous spur of the moment cry for help. You know. You know, you've seen those situations. God, please help me right then. I'll bet you prayed that this week. I did this morning. And then the request.

For all that you need and all that you're asking for everything that you can't control but are asking God to do in you, through you and around you. And the result is peace, that inward tranquility.

Even if you don't have peace in the relationship. Yet, you can have peace in your heart. Even if you don't understand what has happened or why others are reacting like they are, or what you can do about it, God can give you peace.

Your responsibility is to pray and pour your heart out and ask in the moment and in time for him to work and to continue to do that. So you know whenever you start to worry, you turn your worry into prayer. Turn your worries into prayer.

And then lastly.

    4. Choose to focus on good things everywhere. (V. 8)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just pure, lovely, commendable, if there is any excellence, anything worthy of praise, hey, think about those things. Because people in conflict tend to see everything in darker hues, don't they?

Experiences taste better. They expect and find disappointment easily. And so Paul says if you're immersed in this thing. Choose to search for and find the good around you. Feed your mind mental health food, if you will.

Like what's true? What's truthful, honest, genuine, not phony. What's honorable, what's worthy of respect, what's noble? I can respect that. What's just, that's right by principle rather than just being expedient. You know, things done for effect. Look at what's just or right, what's pure, what's absent of evil. It's the opposite, would be manipulative.

What's lovely, those things that bring pleasure and delight in your life. Focus on those things. Focus on what's commendable. Whatever is admirable, whatever deserves approval. And by the way, if you see something admirable or commendable in another person, well then say so. Don't say, oh, that was nice. That guy did something really well. You should, you should stop right then insert yourself and say, you know, I saw what you did there. That was really good.

Whatever is worthy of praise. Usually refers to something God has done, something wonderful. That you can think and praise Him for.

It's just good to look at good things around you. It's better to try to find any of those things in the person that you don't like because believe me. There's good things there, typically.

If you're willing to see them. People who have this perspective of looking for good things are less likely to let small hurts and slights become huge ones. So choose to focus on good things. It is a mindset that you have to choose.

5. Practice imitating those who model peace. Verse 9.

“What have you learned and received and heard and seen in me? Practice these things.” Can't find a person in your situation that's modeling Christ likeness. Toward both you and the other person that you can imitate.

If you can't find a person like that, I hope you can. Hope when your leaders can. But if you can't find it, at least mimic Paul.

I mean, he did his best to get along with others. He found Joy and others proclaiming Christ, even though some people were proclaiming Christ in order to get under his skin. He rarely defended his rights. He extended grace to other people. He thought of other's needs before his own. When he was concerned. He prayed for people, for their growth and unity. He continued to think the best of them. Look, look for the best in them. Just be like that. And what we have learned and seen and come to know.

Practice. And that implies the process of deliberately applying what we know and what we've observed in others to our situation.

To your relationships, your attitudes, that kind of thing. It'll take time, but if you practice it. It'll become second nature and you'll begin to experience peace. And so there's the promise right there.

|||: The Promise

Verse 7, “And the peace of God will guard your hearts and your minds” and then drop down to verse 9. ..”And the God of peace, the peace of God, and then the God of peace will be with you.” So he says you'll experience the peace of God guarding you. His peace is going to flood your heart.

And that peace will be so important that even though disruption is around you and you maybe think people are saying bad things about you or things aren't working out really well, but if you're right with God, the peace of God will be in your heart. Don't you want that? Don't you want that? Don't you want that?

You'll experience the presence of God in your midst. He is the God of peace. He will be with you. That doesn't mean that God will leave us. When our relationships are sick and troubled, they'll never leave us or forsake us, but it implies that we won't sense his presence.

And others won't feel his presence if we sinfully break relationships by being arrogant. And irreconcilable, the God of peace is the God who wants peace in our lives. He's established for us in Christ. We had to live it out.

Look, there's no perfect church. Not even Faith Community Bible Church.

But if you and I follow Paul's directives when we find ourselves at odds with each other. Then the peace of God will well up in our hearts. And the God of peace will be in our relationships.

And we'll see peace happen. That's what I want. Who's with me? Yeah, let's pray.

God, you are so good. Thank you for the scriptures that are so clear. And show us the way. When we stumble and hurt one another. And our hurt, I pray that we would be like Jesus. That we would think. Highly of one another. That we would go out of our way to put others first. That we would sacrifice for each other. That we would maintain the unity of the body and the bond of peace. You've spoken to us. So clearly, and now I pray that. Wherever we are and whatever we need to do, that you put your finger on, whatever thing in our life needs to be highlighted and that you would give us the power and the direction to do what would honor you most and be for our good and your glory we pray. Thank you in Jesus name. And those agree said. Amen